Why does approaching women in public places seem daunting to 99% of men?
Let's face it nobody likes to be rejected and being rejected PUBLICLY is probably the a top fear crippling most mens chances with women they desire.
So how do you deal with this?
In this short video I discuss the fear of critisim and why this stops the majorty of people from acheiving anything worthwhile in their lives. They fear "what other people think" and this prevents a lot of people from forming new relationships, starting new businesses and of course approaching women in PUBLIC PLACES.
I hope you enjoy this video
Your friend,
Alex
The “Crippling” Fear Of Rejection – Why Rejection From Women In Public Places Holds Us Back ...
Persisting When Approaching Women During The Day
Watch as I reveal simple tips when it comes to persisting when faced with temporary failure.
It's okay to fail when you approach a woman, just as long as you FAIL INTELLIGENTLY, ideally you should have learned something from the failed approach to improve your next approach.
I like to treat small failures as stepping stones to success, it was Thomas Edison who failed more than 10,000 times while trying to invent the light bulb, eventually he got it.
Warmly,
Alex
Dating a Perfect 10 - Typical Hot Girl Mentality
Something to keep in mind is that attractive women and perfect tens are approached all the time, when they go out at night they're approached, when they go out during the day they're approached even when they're doing the grocery shopping guess what ... yes you got it ... they're approached by men.
So the result is that these VERY attractive women (perfect 10s) will give their phone number out to a lot men that approach them, sometimes they will give their phone number out just to get rid of them.
Really ...
As perfect 10s are approached so often there's no way they can date every guy that talked to them so they'll pigeon hole guys into the 'average guy' category and dismiss you or 'flake' on you if they think that's better.
To them you're just another guy ... another 'average' guy until you've conveyed otherwise.
Notice what I just said ... "until you've conveyed otherwise" ... This isn't about proving yourself to her, or winning he approval or earning browning points ... that is what EVERY other guy is trying to do ... it's about communicating who you are and conveying strength in character. These VERY attarctive women want strong men, not strong in the sense as muscular I mean strong in chracter. The these perfect 10's date are men who know who they are, their purpose, they rarely question themselves (sometimes they're arrogant) and they're persistent.
Most importantly is they "understand the lives of these hot girls". They know what it must be like to walk through the world as a hot maniquen doll and have guys dote on you and buy you anything you want.
Knowing even a little how these girls walk through life is an important skill to have as it makes you realise how you should NOT act when you're around them otherwise in a split second you'll be discounted as just another average guy.
Some women get an ego hit from all these guys calling them, sad but true huh. Some of these very attractive women have low self esteem and like it when guys call when they're around their girl friends, have you ever heard this before:
"oh my god .. it's that guy calling again .. I gave my phone number out to get rid of him and he keeps calling me ... what a loser"
Some women are like this.
However it's a good sign they're not answering their phone as would this be the kind of girl you want to be around anyway?
The fact is that attractive women have options, if she's a ten then she'll definitely have options.
She'll have high status guys calling them, good looking guys swooning them however after awhile attractive women always yearn for a challenge ...
They want men to challenge them, tease them, treat them like a normal girl, joke with them on the same level and to not be afraid or intimidated by her looks.
This is very important. A lot of guys hold back when they're intimated by a girls looks and they hold back of lot of GOOD conversation and jokes that would help them either get a phone number/date or get her to the bedroom. This is self-sabotage.
The task at hand is to be better than her other options. The worst thing you can do is act like you're competing for her ... no this will ruin the opportunity as she'll sense that and know she has more cards to play and you want her more and are willing to compete for her against other guys.
Instead you should do the opposite. You should push her away in a funny way and act like you have other options more appealing than her. NEVER say this though just sub-communicate it.
*** You can do this by not answering the phone every time she calls;
*** When she calls let it ring a little and then say "heya I'm in the middle of something now so you'll have to be quick what's up";
*** When you call and have to leave a message DON'T leave a long message always leave a short VAGUE message like " Hey it's me ... give me a call back when you get this ... I'm in and out all day so you can try to reach me, if you don't I'll talk to you later anyway"
Never say your name (she will have caller ID with your name saved in her phone already), don't remind her where you met her, say to her to give YOU a call back now most women won't do this (some will) but most won't however it doesn't matter it still gives you more cards to play and you're sub communicating you are a bust man with other options.
What is flaking and why do women do it?
Women will flake on you when you make plans with them. This happens to most men, including me sometimes. It is in their nature to test to see whether you'll accept it. A real man who has other options will not accept this behavior and would call her on it, he would do this not in some abusive way he'll always do it in a funny way (but firm).
"Heya, seeming as you flaked on me yesterday you can take me out, here's my address pick me up tonight at 8pm"
Powerful huh ...
Never accept behavior from an attractive woman that you wouldn't ordinarily accept from a not-so-attractive woman.
Talk to you soon,
Your friend
Alex Coulson
Being Unapologetic as a Man and Asserting Your Desire
If you're a typical nice guy, considerate, genuine, likes to talk and have intelligent conversations with women then you MAY have been in this situation before.
Do you ever find that the more you talk to her (without escalating physically) you end up talking yourself out of closing the deal. Suddenly you realise her body shift, the conversation die out to some neutral and boring topic, and she starts looking around the room at other couples possibly thinking "man why isn't this guy making any moves on me, does he like me?".
If you know what I'm talking about here then keep reading as you're not alone, in fact this used to happen to me ALOT. This I consider also a HOT topic when it comes especially to dates.
You're sitting there at the table, opposite each other face to face, had a great meal and a bottle of wine, and you're thinking "How do I kiss this girl from all the way over here" and my old favorite "I haven't touched this girl all night and it's going to seem awkward if I touch her now" suddenly this distance between you seems to be drawing out and it seems she's further and further away from you.
What eventually happens is you call it a night and you're outside the restaurant ready to part ways, and you touch her hand poised to strike her a kiss on the lips ... and she flinches .... then she looks down at your hand like to question you "What are you doing" or "It's too early for hand holding buddy" and all of a sudden a drip of cold sweat lines your neck and your pulse starts racing, palms get sweaty and all you hear is your heartbeat thumping away like the Swazi bongos. pum pum ... pum pum ..pum pum pum ...Okay ...
Getting a little dramatic here, well this used to happen to me on MOST DATES and the reason is I let it happen, I knew what to do and how to prevent it from happening again but I was scared to act. That was a long time ago, now this NEVER happens to me as I assert my inhibitions and I don't apologise for being a man and thinking AND acting how a man SHOULD act.
I no longer wait for the end of the date, hell no, I kiss her when I feel like kissing, or touching her, puting my arm around her waist when I feel like it. I act on impulse and it's worked for me ever since I started doing it.
In each of us there are two processes, the first is what is socially acceptable in the circumstances. i.e. We have a great dinner date, we take a long walk, I drive her home and I get a kiss at the doorstep. May get lucky 2nd or maybe even 3rd date, maybe.
Then there's our inhibitions of what we WANT to do, have a quick dinner, foreplay in the car on the way back to her place, "Make her surrender and submit" to you in the bedroom, the kitchen, the lounge room and on the balcony and then you kiss her good night and tell her to call you. Nice huh ...
The good news and strangely enough the most effective strategy for having more success from the date to the bedroom is to break social norms and follow your inhibitions. Women respond to this more and appreciate this more than the "nice guy" approach. Nice guys finish last didn't you know? : )
Stop watching chick flicks, where nervous "sensitive" actors are making a sissy fool of themselves courting and being gentleman like. Forget hiding behind these social ideals of how dates should go and create the date how YOU want it to go.
The fact is most of us get our knowledge on the dating scene and the "how to" on dates from movies.
Answer this honestly do you ever consult your male friends and ask them what to do on a date? Do you ask your siblings, parents or other family what normally goes down? no probably not.
You get the ideals from movies, film, tv and the MEDIA. Yes, that evil media that manipulates men into buying gifts, expensive diamond rings, working 50 hours weeks to get a good car and an expensive apartment so women will be more responsive to them. The fact is women aren't much more responsive to this as much as you think, I know of guys who take girls back to their hostels (where they share a room with 20 other people) and they close the deal on a bunk bed. They do this consistently too with beautiful glamour girls.
Women want men pure and simple.
What women want is an un-apologetic man who believes in honesty, being genuine and is unashamed of his desire as a man. If the girl says "let's just be friends" which is the dreaded friends zone line he would say "I have enough friends" and walk away or convey he's willing to walk away. Powerful huh.
Women RESPOND to men. Women want MASCULINE MEN to take them in every way possible. They want the man to be most importantly:
-Unapologetic about their desires
-True to themselves (don't say things that are meant to impress her)
-Genuine and sincere
Don't be ashamed of what you're thinking and be open to touching her and kissing her when you feel like it (Don't plan it or do it just because this is the moment when you "should" touch/kiss her).
I hope you learn from this and start acting out your desires as this is the only TRUE way to live.
Talk soon,
Your friend
Alex Coulson
Starting Compelling Conversations with Hot Bartender Girls
How To meet Bartenders –Part two
Welcome to part two for picking up bar staff and bartenders while they’re working.
So you’ve made ordered a drink from the hottest bartender there like I said right??
Okay …
That’s the easy part done. Great work!
You’ve made a statement rather than a question yes? This is very important as questions take value from people. If you want to ask a question always place a statement in front of it. For example “You look like you’re having an energetic night …So what’s been happening then?”
As opposed to “How’s your night … what has been happening?”
This idea behind this is to make yourself stand out from all the other guys, and you will by making a statement rather than just requesting a bourbon and coke.
Most guys just order a drink and walk away wishing they could at least start a natural conversation with the hot bartender, she’s standing there with her radiance and every guys eyes deadlocked on her, she’s bored as usual and don’t let the high energy attitude fool you.
"Most bar girls are bored"
Most bar girls are envying everybody else who are having a great time with their friends, who are on the dance floor and who don’t have to work while she’s stuck there behind the bar until 3am serving drinks.
So you’ve started the conversation and made a statement about her (see part one)The keynote here is to engage her emotionally rather than logically, speak philosophically and not about facts i.e. the WORST thing you could say is just:
“How’s your night?”
“How long have you been working here”
These are instant state killers and she’ll pigeon hole you in the “average guy” category in a heartbeat.
So you want to be emotional and bring about her emotions when you talk to bartenders and to do this you need to at least say something other than your drink order.
Like I said it doesn’t matter what you order just as long as you order it from the hottest bartender there.
I love saying this to bartenders:
“Did you know I read this study on bartenders, apparently if a girl is a bartender with blonde hair
Her: “hehe no that’s not true”
Me: “Well there you go you’re lying already … It is true!”
Me: “You look as though you’re having a fun time what’s the most exciting, life changing event that’s happened tonight … besides talking to me”
“You know what I’d love to do to you…(look at her like you're talking to her)
Me: “Man
Her: “hehe you two are funny!”
Me: “Anyway I’ll get a bourbon and coke with some passion and looooooove in it …please.”
"You’re also coming from a frame where you’re out to have fun"
You’re also coming from a frame where you’re out to have fun, bust her chops, bust your mates chops and generally create a fun atmosphere as opposed to the other 98% of guys there who just stare at the girls working the bar, wishing and hoping that by some miracle these girls will start a conversation with them.
Another good piece of advice for you is to become a regular at these bars, don’t be the regular drunk (that’s a different story) just be a regular there and be seen there often.
If you haven’t seen my Street Dating Revealed DVD full of real life hidden camera pickups of me and my friends, then reserve your RISK FREE copy today. It’s backed by a full money back guarantee for 30 days! It’s jam packed full of pickups at the coffee shop, the street and the park. You’ll love it I know it!
YES Alex, Send Me My DVD Now!
I hope you’ve enjoyed these tips on picking up and talking to bartenders and I hope our paths cross again in the future.
Talk to you sooner than you think,
Alex
Recent posts:
Are you running out of things to say to women?
Picking up women in the street new hidden camera video
Picking up women during the day (top tips)
Picking Up Bartenders - A "How To" For Guys Wanting To Pick Up Girls Working At Bars
The Strategy To Picking Up Bartenders in Bars – Part 1
Leaning over the marble bar and at the top of my voice I order a vodka tonic, the young blonde girl behind the bar looks at me inquisitively and asks about my vintage ¾ length velvet jacket I’m wearing and remarks she likes it.
I smile …
Without pausing she quickly and effortlessly places a crisp tonic water and a shot of vodka on a obviously designer made serviette with the emblem “IVY”, for I was at the Ivy night spot, known to celebrities and stars around the world as the club where you pick up glamour girls. Tonight was my night to shine.
It had been three solid weeks where I didn’t go out at nighttime. I was working around the clock the last few weeks on my new DVD the prequel to Street Dating Revealed with my only friend my final cut pro editing suite and a good ‘ole cup of instant coffee, that rancid burning taste that pierces and numbs your taste buds after the third cup and I was well past that.
Standing there at the Ivy nightspot surrounded by some of Australia’s most beautiful women I found myself drawn to the idea of walking away with the bar girls phone number or even better …her
The question was how would I make this possible…
There is a SECRET that most men don’t know about talking to these types of girls ESPECIALLY when they’re working which I’ll reveal in just a moment.
The challenge with these girls who are “working” these jobs is the fact that they are the easiest to talk to, that said they’re also the most challenging to get a phone number from.
The secret strategy is what I call “order a drink and make her think” and has worked for me many times and even my closest friends exclaim how powerful this simple technique is as they’ve had much success from using it to meet hot bartenders.
It’s not really a technique so to speak of but this “order a drink and make her think” helps me remember what I need to do.
It’s very simple and this is how it goes:
** Order a drink from the hottest bartender you see, even if you have to wait for her to serve you it’ll be worth it, it doesn’t really matter what you order just make sure you order it from the hottest girl working the bar.
** When she asks what you would like say with a smile and friendly demeanor
“What do you recommend?”
or
“There’s so much choice here what would you recommend to me or what’s your favorite?”
** Depending on how busy it is you can easily chat to these girls. The fact is 99% of these girls are bored for they’re working, serving drinks and everybody’s else is having fun so they yearn for some cool guys to playfully make jokes about them and flirt with her.
If it’s not busy at the bar simply make statements about her and assumptions such as:
** “I love the way move … you have such a grace about you” (say it in a cheesy tone)
** “I’m guessing you’re a Taurus …
The key here is to make her think i.e. “order a drink and make her think” and say something which is completely logically opposite or philosophical.
END OF PART 1
Your friend.
Alex
Recent posts:
Becoming a pick up artist
Picking Up Women In The Street
Picking Up Women In The Supermarket
The Pick Up Artists Life - The Persistent Attitude
The Key To Becoming a GOOD Pick Up Artist
Some of the most successful pickup artists have a skill that can NOT be taught on the workshops, in fact the pick up artist probably doesn’t even know he has this skill as its unconscious, or outside the real of their consciousness and they don’t even know they have this unique skill.
That skill is the “unwavering belief in themselves”
Some would say this is confidence and they would be right, it’s also a mixture of arrogance, pride and a few other things.
This is a GOOD skill to have and I’ll tell you why in just a second.
Most budding pickup artists are in the ‘game’ for three months or less and they give up, they give it a try and go out a few times with their buddies they do about half the approaches they could do, and they say they’re not really getting the results of other PUAs out there are getting so they give up. Then a few months later they’re back again giving it another try.
There’s nothing wrong with this don’t get me wrong, in fact this is good that they remained unwavering and giving it another shot. What I am trying to say however is that you should keep going from the get go and never let rejection stop you, or “club” girls attitude deter you.
The skill the drives success in life, in business, personal relationships and other areas is persistence, it’s having this belief in yourself that you can do it and you deserve it. Most importantly is that you DESERVE IT as this will always provide you with a drive to achieve it.
Man guys I’ve coached through my workshop business have learned somewhat skills (from me and others) on being persistent at pickup even when the odds seem like they’re against you.
So what is persistence and some good examples?
I’ve met a lot of successful pick up artists in my life either when I’m interviewing them, running a workshop on some of my travels and bumping into them or just been introduced to them and these insightful guys all possess the skill of persistence and belief.
Persistence:
· Continuity: the property of a continuous and connected period of time
· Doggedness: persistent determination
I like the last word DETERMINATION.
Some good examples of PUA Persistence:
** Never let a rejection from a girl deter or stop you from more approaches
** Never let a bad breakup deter you from feeling for another girl again in the future
** Always be positive in-light of any circumstances (this will always guide you to a solution)
** Even if she has a boyfriend be persistent as most girls who say they have a partner don’t in fact and she’s just testing you.
To become a pick up artist you need the skill of persistence, if you get shot down or rejected then take a breather, have a coffee, don’t get inside your head and think “why, what’s wrong, what am I doing wrong” etc just have a break and keep going. This is the best way to get good at this.
Talk soon
Your friend,
Alex
How To Pick Up Women In The Street - New Video
http://www.tinyurl.com/6aqe5r
This was a lot of fun, watch as I pick up this girl in the street and take her on an instant date to the coffee shop. The key here is to keep talking otherwise she will walk away and the rule is always be closing. I ended up getting her number but I thought I'll try to get an instant date at the coffee shop and I got it!
Good luck and happy hunting! :)
Alex
Asking A Girl Out On a Date - Tips For Guys
When the time comes to pop the question and ask her out on a date the deliema is how do you do it? My rule of thumb is to not ask directly, instead assume she’ll come and merely propose a meeting place. Never call a meeting a “date” as it throws most men in a frame war where he’s courting, he’s paying and he’s going to have to wait for the pink taco until at least the third date … maybe longer.
Asking a girl on a date tip#1
Say these exact words:
“Hey
This gets me a 90% date rate … and it should do the same for you. I’ve included some nice touches there like “a friends making me dinner” (she’ll always assume it’s a female friend) and this makes you look good, also that your time is valuable as you ended the phone call first.
Asking a girl on a date tip#2
Always meet your dates in QUIET bars or lounges, never take them to loud noisy bars or nightclubs as other guys may move in mistakenly and whisk your date away, unless you want this to happen my general rule is never take them to busy or loud nightclubs.
Find a cruisy, quiet and half lit (aka romantic) lounge, where there are sofas or lounges as opposed to bar stools which are uncomfortable and pose a problem when the time comes for you to move in for the make out and get things heavier.
Asking a girl out on a date is quite easy when you warm up by talking to other girls first, so call up some old numbers have some great conversations with them and then call your girl, hopefully by this time you would have loosened up a little. Asking a girl out wont be a challenge again!
Your friend,
Alex Coulson Add to Onlywire
What To Do If She Has a Boyfriend - Boyfriend Destroyers
Attractive women are rare and when you stumble over them the chances are they’ll probably have a boyfriend and even if they don’t they say they will, doesn’t really make sense does it?
But never fear as the following tips are to be used on women who say “I have a boyfriend” and are designed to assist you to get past the “boyfriend” excuse, I say the word excuse as the ironic notion is even if a woman LIKES you and she’s JUST met you, she’ll still say “I have a boyfriend” if you convey your interest too early on or go in for the close within the first few minutes.
Attractive women wander around in “auto-pilot” mode most of the time. When guys approach and convey interest too early without demonstrating their qualities then the girl has no reason to “be single” she’ll say she has a boyfriend even though she may not, so the key here is to convey as much about you as possible in the first few minutes.
In personal experience I’ll have to say every 3/10 girls who say I have a boyfriend will actually have one. So what do you say when she says, “I have a boyfriend”?
You: Cool … I have a dog
Or
You: Nice, I’m glad you have somebody to be around when you’re not around me.
Or
You: Well … nobody’s perfect.
The key to getting past the boyfriend excuse is to be un-reactive; if you flinch in the slightest or have a slight tremor or muscle movement then she’ll know she has you.
So don’t let the boyfriend excuse affect you. Stay there and persist as remember only a third of all women who say it actually mean it. My belief is that all women need to feel they are being pursued in one way or another, this demonstrates to them whether you really want her and are willing to push past obstacles to get her and if you do you get some pink taco for dinner : )
One girl has actually said to me that she throws the boyfriend excuse out there to “test” a mans quality, if he stays with me and persists he’s a real man as he likes challenges and has “survival” qualities. She also said that she gets disappointed when guys walk away after she says she has a boyfriend, especially if she genuinely liked the guy.
The moral? Quick boyfriend – breaker tactics:
*Stay there and persist
*Be un-reactive
*Keep escalating physically and assume she didn’t say it
*“I have a dog”
Talk soon my friend,
Alex Coulson Add to Onlywire
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